The first thought when asked this question is “define dating.” I only throw this out there because “dating” a cub is far different than being in any other relationship. There are looser boundaries, grayer lines, more moving parts and definitely lots of “playing it by ear.” All of this might be a little less traditional than a cougar is accustomed to, and may take a little getting used to as your ears become a little more fatigued than usual.
The next thought when I see this question is, “Who makes the rules?” The only real answer to this question is the cougar and the cub should have a discussion (or two or three or four) together about what the “dating” situation means. In the end, the answer will likely be that “it is what it is” (currently) and as you move forward it will be TBD and re-D. Simple, no?
Interestingly, there could be a chance that neither of you set out with the intention of “dating” in the first place, but one day a casual observer or the cougar or cub happened to realize that the evidence suggested otherwise. This can catch you by surprise, and surprise you all at once (both of which are different, believe it or not.) If, upon realizing this you find yourself okay with it, then you should continue to move forward and not be confused by your own self-talk based on your previous exposure to the term “dating” – after all, it’s just an active verb, (or is it?) – It’s not a monster like credit card debt.
My next question is, “What kinds of dates have you two been on?” Have you been on legitimate dates – lunches, dinners, movies, sports games, public events? Have you just been hanging out, kicking back and enjoying each other’s company? Or have you just been making reciprocal cougar/cub booty calls to each other? In any case, these are all “dates”of sorts, and all well and good, just so they are what you are really looking for in your current “dating” situation.
There is one question I like to ask friends (and myself) when chatting and thinking about relationships and dating situations. “Are you happy with the current situation?” If you are able to answer “yes” to this question, then good for you – Green Light, GO. As long as both the cougar and the cub are individually able to answer “Yes,” to this question then why get hung up on terminology? When the answer for either of you changes to “No,” then it’s time to pull out the caution signs and flashing lights, maybe bring in a new driver or even take the scenic route. And as long as it’s green, enjoy the ride.
